Finally, a month later... Here is my trip report compiled from mental notes from my trip to Las Vegas at the end of February. It's a long read so I broke it into sections for people like me that skip around when reading.
I used the Guaranteed Expectations promo from
the Casinotripreports blog to place a reservation at Monte Carlo before the top of it had caught fire from the welding incident. It was a non-refundable reservation... I was really worried that the fire would affect my stay, but it was business as usual and I detected no problems. In fact, I felt very safe since I knew that the place had been examined closely by all sorts of inspectors after the fire!
Myself and a friend arrived on Sunday. A friend and his wife came in on Monday and left Thursday. Another friend flew in to join us on Tuesday and left on Friday. My friend and I stayed the full week from Sunday to Sunday.
Trip Goals:
Gamble & win (every trip's goal!)
Do the Grand Canyon Walkway
Hit a nice buffet
at least one great meal
Bet on Gonzaga in basketball (had a feeling pre-trip)
Hit a strip club
Trip Actuals:
Gamble & won (1st trip in 7 years that I left with close to what I came with)
Drove out to Hoover Dam
Top of the Stratosphere
Dave Attell Show at House of Blues
Bellagio Buffet
Dined at Emerils
Dined at Craftsteak
Won money on Gonzaga
Ended up at Glitter Gultch
** Departure/Arrival **
No problems. I came in on Sunday and left on Sunday. The TSA staff seemed like they were in a good mood on both departures. They even joked around with me a bit as I exited the metal detector on my way out and when they questioned me about my fold-up luggage cart on the way out of Vegas! We did have a delay as we were forced to wait for our flight attendants to arrive before boarding to come home, but it was a minor annoyance.
** Flights & Movies **
Some lame John Cusak movie about a Martian kid on the way plane on the way out, so I tried to get some sleep. The Enchanted movie from Disney looked interesting but sappy on the flight home which was pretty bumpy from the wind, but I was too tired to watch it. I dosed off a bit here and there while sandwiched between two big guys while in the back of the plane. The two jumbo guys were tired, but friendly. I suppose things could have been worse, so I just dealt with the cramped quarters.
** Car Rental **
Alamo. Livin' large! I went with a Caddilac CTS. Great car with good pick-up, but too small on the inside. It does not really hold 5 passengers comfortably as stated. No problems with the rental agency or the return. It was VERY tight when I had myself and 4 passengers crammed in the car, though. We only did that a few times..
** Monte Carlo Front Desk **
I asked about upgrades knowing that they would say no and sure enough, they said no complimentary upgrades were given out. No upsale attempt took place. I was tired and the blonde clerk lady kind of scared me with her demeanor and weird grip on the pen as she wrote...so I just took a smoking room on the 6th floor of the open tower. I left my room keycard in my room once and came down and they gave me a new one with no hassle after checking my ID. Guess this might be a good way to get extra room keycards if needed...
** Monte Carlo Deluxe Room **
It was a nice, clean room. The TV was old and nothing special. The view was lousy.. backside of the Monte Carlo looking over to New York New York. Ropes from construction hanging down in front of my heavily scratched up window distracted from the view of the mountains in the distance. I didn't really care; I came to gamble and have fun! I tried using the internet ($13/day), but it was busted. I had to get a tech to come up and fix it, but it took less than 15 minutes for him to swap out the bad internet cable hookup unit. I didn't sleep that great when I did sleep... I missed my own bed.
** Monte Carlo Slots **
The gaming floor was large but was mostly empty until the end of my trip when all of the Nascar fans rolled into town. I liked the large selection of slot machines and I generally had decent luck. The machine that became my favorite was the Joker's Wild 0.25 progressive slot. It's along the wall near the entrance to Monte Carlo from the strip. Max bet is $1.25 on it and you spin until you get 3 Bonus reels on a payline and then a wheel on the top of the machine spins over and over again with large payouts until you hit a devil. I played this machine quite a bit, but only got the progressive payout jackpot to land on the 1st payline on the 1st reel once or twice. I definitely was ahead against the machine.
Machines that I liked:
Joker's Wild - The evil looking devil scares off the timid at heart.
Game King - I only play Blackjack or Deuces Wild on these.
Sopranos - fun game, I lost but watched my friends win at it
Cat's Meow - bonus sequence with 3 cats playing musical instruments paid off big
Green Acres - Pancake bonus paid off for me many times.
Dukes of Hazzard - Hit the bonus to run from the cops and had a great run!
Carnival of Mystery - a friend won $270 on this penny slot by playing max bet.
Games I will avoid:
Gypsy Fortune - green eyed, red-haired temptress takes your money!
Snow Globes - lame
Twice Your Monkey - great name, but never paid off
Top Gun/Wizard of Oz - nice machines with speakers in the seats and large progressive payout (750k+), but I never won anything!
Multi-hand blackjack - another nice machine that is a really fast way to lose a lot of cash!
Drink service was sporadic at the slots. I could play a long time without seeing a cocktail waitress depending on where I was sitting. I found that if I really wanted a drink, sitting on the Sopranos machines was a sure thing since it was near where the cocktail waitresses went to get drinks.
** Monte Carlo Table Games **
Lots of blackjack tables. I would rather play it on a video poker machine, so I didn't sit down. They switched back and forth between $5 minimums and $10 minimums on most of the table games. I looked over the selections and decided to only play two games. My old favorite, Roulette, where I can try to play off of my own luck or others and Texas Hold-em Bonus Poker where I discovered that the house edge is kind of low.
Drink service was superior at the tables with only one period late at night where we did not see a waitress for close to an hour and had to complain to a pit boss. Let me say that Josie and Jackie work very hard, are friendly, and beautiful distractions as they walk through the gaming floor. When I mentioned to Jackie that I like to taste the rum in my rum and coke, she started bringing me doubles for the remainder of my trip without my prompting each time. Excellent!
** Monte Carlo Roulette **
My first bet on roulette was a $50 bet on black on a semi-full table. The ball rolled into black 13 which was a loser for everyone except me. I felt that was not a good sign to stay at the table, so I just took the money and ran. Later on, I sat down at the table with a friend. I was playing $5 chips on the outside and decided to finally bet inside on the 0/00. It hit at 17 to 1 payouts and was a nice $85 bonus to put me up for the first day! Later on, an Egyptian lady was spinning and I noticed that she was hitting "neighbors" on the wheel. I mentioned it as I laid some bets and she started helping me predict what she was going to spin and I made out like a bandit until she went home! Gotta love it! I lost a little back later on, but did well on my last day when I hit a few single numbers and had a small "groove" going.
My Favorite Spinner:
Egyptian lady, Medegev (or something close, I don't remember how to spell.. I just remember that it sounded close to Megadeth!)
Positive Spinners:
Kim - friendly and good conversationalist
Atanas - Nice guy, positive vibe on the wheel
** Monte Carlo/Excalbur Texas Hold'em Bonus poker **
I found this game with two friends and we watched briefly and realized that you only had to beat the dealer's hand. We jumped on the opportunity. I played it extensively for hours at a time.
The game uses a single 52 card deck and the highest five card poker hand between you and the dealer wins. You place money on the ante to see two cards. If you like them, you double your ante to see a flop or, if not, fold and give up your ante.
If you see the flop, you can then bet again before the turn and the river cards or you can just check and risk your ante and the double-ante. There is no betting after the river card. So, a $5 ante will cost $10 more to see the flop and if you hit or like the 3 cards on the flop, you can raise $5 more. If the turn card does not scare you, you can bet $5 more before the river ($25 total). There is a bonus square that has payouts ranging from 3-to-1 if you get dealt a pair of 10s to 2s, and 5-to-1 to 30-to-1 for cards from Ace-Jack unsuited to Ace-Ace down. You can hit 1000-to-1 on the bonus if you have A-A down and the dealer also has A-A down... The ante is only paid off if you win with a straight or higher. Otherwise, when you win, the flop/turn/river bets only get paid.
I also played this game over at Excalibur. I was told at Monte Carlo that it did not matter if my cards were shown to the other players and they didn't care if I told what I had. So, on my first night, I just held my cards out so that everyone could see them. Nobody objected and, in fact, the dealers flip some players cards exposing them to everyone when players fold or to give advice to players. I think that all three of us ended up winning pretty nicely playing at the $5 level and we cashed out up after 4 hours or so of play.
The next night, they had raised the minimum bet to $10 at the table and it sat empty. I have no idea what their logic was for raising their minimums, but most of the dealers stood around looking bored while we decided to gamble elsewhere.
We walked over to Excalibur and joined the $5 minimum Texas Hold'em Bonus Poker game there. At Excalibur, they said not to flip my cards up so that everyone at the table could see them, but they did nothing to stop the player to my left or right from looking at my cards (or me from looking at other player's cards) and did not say anything to players about disclosing what they had verbally.
When I had mentioned my surprise that I was allowed to tell what cards I had to the Monte Carlo dealer the night before, she had said that it did not matter because each player plays against the dealer... She laughed and said something about the movie "Rounders" when I pointed out that knowing any cards other than the two that I held gave me an advantage. I remember just looking at my fellow poker sharks in disbelief.
Continuing to get the nuances of the game down, I played at the $5 level while watching a jolly woman from Hungary playing at $25/ante. After an hour of us all mostly winning and having a good time, she raised her bet up to $100/ante and was raking in the dough. The casino was giving me free booze, we were colluding on cards without being stopped, and having a great time! I walked away up a few hundred dollars and decided to press my luck at the game later on and raise my bet level to $25/hand.
I tried to become more serious about the game and did not expose my cards so brazenly. I told other players what I had on occasion or when I hit a bonus. I guessed at what the other players had by their betting or listened for their own disclosures, but I decided not to abuse the system so heavily as a matter of conscience (and because I didn't want to get the game removed from the floor). I didn't find out until later that the game has been around for over 2 years, so I guess it is not going anywhere. I thought it was pretty new!
Anyway, I looked up the strategy on
wizardofodds.com and found that folding anything other than 7 with a low card off-suit was not advised. I even played junk cards like 7-3 offsuit and won money a few times. I guess the casino is not expecting anyone to fold cards ever so they do not care if you know what other people have, but it still gives an advantage on knowing when to bet the turn and river.
The game does have streaks and I took a hit on Saturday night when the dealers did not seem to be friendly or in a good mood. A few bad beats in a row when you have maximum bets laid out for your betting amount can be devastating to the bankroll! Other than Saturday night, though, I had huge success at the game and doubled up my initial bankroll and cashed out several different times.
** Monte Carlo Texas Hold'em Bonus Poker Dealers **
The game is tough for a dealer to police and should really have a second set of eyes on it, or only be dealt by poker expert dealers. I noticed that the pit boss would pay the most attention to this game, but they left the dealer alone to figure things out by themselves most of the time. As a result, dealers would sometimes attempt to collect from a player that had a winning hand, or might need prompted to payout on a bonus.
I only observed a few uncorrected mistakes. One was to me and I objected to the payout, but the dealer insisted that I had the better hand and was paying out the next guy, so I just moved on. Hell, I was the one drinking, but I know my poker drunk or sober! (grin) The different dealers have different styles, some are more fluent in poker than others, and others just had not dealt the game enough.
My Favorite:
Leonardo - friendly, laughing, funny, good dealer, few mistakes
Positive:
Michael - friendly and good dealer, slower and some mistakes
Dallas - very professional and friendly, I only had him deal briefly.
Oscar - good dealer, seemed happy and was solid
Mary Jane - professional with flair, no mistakes, best dealer I saw
Monte - personable, solid, few mistakes
** Monte Carlo Sportsbook **
The sportsbook is somewhat small. The thing that I liked the least about it was that the "main board" with the lines for the games is on the wall above the entrance. So, to see it, you have to walk all the way into the sportsbook and turn completely around and look up. No wonder I couldn't find the lines for games on my first day in the place!
I had relatively good luck at the sportsbook throughout the trip. Gonzaga played late in my trip, but I did bet on them and win money...so my pre-trip notion to bet on them was good! I did lose some money on Ohio State as a 3.5 to 1 underdog against Indiana, but I still think that it was a solid bet. If the big doofus for OSU hadn't thrown the ball away like half a dozen times, they might have won! Kosta Koufos is a freshman, though, so I shouldn't be too harsh on him. It was Thad's fault for not playing Terwilliger more!
The best part of the sportsbook at Monte Carlo is the staff. One of the friendliest and coolest guys that you will ever meet is a sportsbook clerk by the name of Norm. He helped us out quite a bit with understanding some of the different horse betting options (including the availability of 10 cent superfectas!) and even helped pick some horses with us. He is a great guy and a true asset to Monte Carlo.
In one horse race, there was a horse running named Uno Red Bird. My friend is nick-named Bird and has red hair, so we placed a bet on the horse and it won at a very nice 8 to 1 payout! I also hit an Exacta by picking a jockey that had finished in the money each of the previous races and tying it to the favorite!
Drink service is superior in the sportsbook. In particular, a redhead named Nicole with a warm smile and big pretty eyes works very hard to make sure that everyone is kept happy. There was no worrying about drink tickets and the such which was *very* nice. In fact, Norm even helped to arrange for a comped buffet for us which was appreciated even though we ran out of time and didn't get to use it!
** Monte Carlo Cafe **
I ate there 4 or 5 times over the week-long stay. The staff does a good job and the food was very good. There were some slight delays a few times in getting served, getting the check, etc., but it was never really excessive. I tried the following items and can recommend them all:
Ham & Eggs
Filet Benedict (better than I thought it would be!)
Cheeseburger
Country Fried Steak & Eggs
** Bellagio Buffet **
On Tuesday, we walked over from Monte Carlo to Bellagio past the dudes handing out escort cards and the giant City Center construction project to get our fill at the Bellagio. The food was excellent and I feel that we definitely got our money's worth. I didn't really try anything too exotic and stuck with the standards, but it was all high quality and we all loaded up on desserts!
** Emeril's at MGM Grand **
Their site says business casual for dress code, but Vegas must be getting real slack. I noticed at Emeril's and Craftsteak at MGM Grand that they were not as strict as I would expect. I walked into Emeril's wearing blue jeans and a cool, but not really dressy, Nike Jumpman-23 t-shirt with my two friends that were more properly attired.
I had the T-bone steak with lobster hollandaise. It was huge and delicious! Our server, Edward, was professional, polite, and attentive. It was a great overall meal. The three of us ate for around $250 with tip.
** Craftsteak at MGM Grand **
On Wednesday, we got dressed up for dinner at Craftsteak and our party of five had a sophisticated Vegas tourist look. We did not have reservations, but requested a table for five over an hour ahead of time and only had to wait about 5 to 10 minutes when we arrived. Most people were properly attired, but we watched a young guy in a North Carolina jersey go in with his young girlfriend that was wearing a ballcap. It definitely annoyed one of our party that had forced himself to put on some dress shoes that were too tight!
Other than not strictly enforcing their dress code, I have only massive praise for Craftsteak. This was simply the best meal that I have ever had in my life and I have eaten some darn good meals! The service was fantastic! We had some appetizers brought out and let me just say "WOW!" about the quail. It was phenomenal... I have seldom eaten something that left such a lasting wow-effect on me. The flavor was out of this world! For my main course, I went with a Kobe filet. It was so tender and perfect that I was actually able to cut it using the reverse side of my steak knife! Everything about the meal was awesome... Even the vegetables (carrots and broccoli) were better than anyplace else. In particular, the carrots were sweet and flavorful almost like a dessert. Speaking of dessert, we all shared a rich chocolate dish that was an excellent ending to an incredible meal.
The meal was expensive, but worth every penny. My bill came to $195 and I tipped $50. The couple in our party had a great meal and ate for a combined $200 + tip. So, you can eat there for around $100 per person if you do not overboard. I spoke with the manager (Sebastian) before we left and passed on my extreme pleasure at having such an awesome meal. The quail really had a wow-factor that I will be talking about for a long time...
** Grand Canyon Skywalk **
We had wanted to go to the Grand Canyon skywalk thing, but found out that there is a bit of what I consider to be a scam going on. They double charge people! You have to pay to get onto the Indian reservation and then pay again to walk out on the skywalk. While it would be cool to do, we came to the agreement that they just wanted too much money for the experience... Maybe we'll wait until some of the "newness" wears off and see if they reduce their rates or we can find a promo or something.
** Hoover Dam **
So, I drove out to Hoover dam with my married friends instead of doing the Grand Canyon. It was a nice bright and warm day. The work that they are doing on the bridge that is being built to cross over the dam is amazing! It will be cool when it is finally completed! The water level is frightfully low at the dam... It looked like it was over 1000 feet below what it should be!
I recommend stopping in the High Scaler Cafe next to the gift shop. I had one of the best breakfast sandwiches in recent memory there. It was made just right!
** Stratosphere **
When we made it back to Vegas from Hoover Dam, one of our party wanted to try to make it to the top of the Stratosphere before sundown. I looked at the timing and guessed that it was not likely, but we still tried. We made it to the top of the Strat just a bit after the sun had disappeared beyond the mountains. We took some pictures and enjoyed the view for a bit. I found one of the souvenir machines that will elongate a quarter and stamp sayings and pictures on it. I wanted the one with the Stratosphere on it, but I didn't realize that you could pre-crank the machine to set it to the one that you wanted... So, I got the luck of the draw when I made the quarter. It ended up being the one that I wanted anyway. I was thrilled and felt that my good luck was sure to continue!
** MGM Grand **
After dinner at Craftsteak on Wednesday, we walked around MGM Grand a bit and did some slot machine gambling and people watching. My friend had advised me that he had heard that the great Pittsburgh Steelers radio commentator, Myron Cope, had passed away. So, we went over to the casino bar across from Zumari's and did a toast and shot of Jagrmeister to the legendary Myron Cope. I'll forever remember his high pitched voice even though I'm not really a Steelers fan. Myron was a true football fan and will be missed.
If you happened to be looking for a lady of the evening, MGM Grand was crawling with them.. It was not hard to pick them out of the crowd and the area around Zumari's had a number of working girls milling about looking for someone special to fill their pocketbooks and other things.. (ahem) They were not overly obvious, but they were easy to spot to anyone that was not completely naive!
** Dave Attell **
My friend got tickets for us to see Dave Attell at the House of Blues on Friday. The website said 7pm, so we rushed to get there by 7pm only to find out once inside that the doors opened at 7pm, but the opening act didn't start until 8pm. Our tickets were standing room only, so we had to stand around for an hour before the opening act came on. At least the bar was open, but the drinks were way expensive... My friend dropped over $100 just on buying Guinness for himself during the show! heh.. He was drunk!
I don't remember the name of the opening act, but I didn't think he was that funny. He was somewhat predictable and I think that I have poker buddies that are just as funny...
Dave Attell came on stage and was impressive. He mixed in a lot of filthy humor in with jokes about drinking and getting drunk. I really like how he involves the crowd in his show. He does a masterful job of building quick rapport with the audience as a whole. There were parts that were hilarious. Unfortunately, I got a call from work and missed about 15 minutes of the show which was probably the best part! After the show, Dave came out front for autographs and pictures. We waited around and I was able to snap a photo of Dave with my friend. Dave was very patient and cool and made sure that everyone that wanted to say something to him personally or get a photo had a chance. It was a true pleasure to see a professional near the top of his game.
** Glitter Gulch **
On our final night, we had a hard time leaving the Texas Hold'Em Bonus Poker game, but I still wanted to stop into a strip club. What can I say...I just love strip clubs! My friend was wearing a ball cap and did not want to go anyplace that had a dress code. We saw the ad for Deja-Vu on TV that said no dress code and stopped there, but the place is all-nude with no alcohol served. In need of alcohol when enjoying a club, we decided to try Glitter Gulch downtown since I was sure from reading online reports that they didn't have a dress code. We got there pretty late and only stayed for about an hour before it was 4am and they kicked us out.
I did manage to get a few great dances from a dark Jamaican girl named Jamaya with smooth silky skin and a great body. I managed to break away from her about 15 minutes before closing and was fortunate enough to get the last dance of the evening from Paige, a super sexy half-Navajo girl that said she had a twin sister. Although smoking hot, she had a bit of an inferiority complex which I recognized and negated quickly. I am sorry that I didn't get to spend more time with her... She seemed to feel the same way as she followed me to the door talking with me as the bouncer dude was following closely and giving me the "time to go!" menacing look.. daaammmnnn!!
On our way out, this middle-aged woman that looked too sober is standing around near one of the casino entrances and drops a stupid line on my friend "Hey! You dropped something.." He looks back and is like "Huh?" She goes "You dropped the key to my heart right there." We laughed and walked away... We had been warned by one of the dealers at the Monte Carlo about female cops entrapping guys for solicitation downtown.. I didn't like the vibe and have a feeling that we dodged some trouble there..!
-Moe Green
Print